Getting handed a stack of court papers is disorienting, even when a divorce is not a surprise. Before you think about the rest of the case, there are a small number of things worth doing in the first few days, in a specific order.
Key Takeaway: Read the Summons (FL-110) to find your deadline, generally 30 calendar days from the date you were served. Read the Petition (FL-100) to see what your spouse is requesting. Both of you are now bound by automatic restraining orders (ATROs). Then decide how you want to respond, whether that is filing a straightforward Response, starting settlement talks, or, rarely, doing nothing on purpose.
Resist the urge to react to the paperwork emotionally before you have actually read it. In California, a divorce case generally starts with two documents served together:
- The Petition (Form FL-100), which states what your spouse is asking the court to order
- The Summons (Form FL-110), which puts you on notice of the case and states your response deadline
Read both, ideally somewhere calm, before deciding on next steps. Nothing about being served requires an immediate reaction; it requires an accurate one. The clock that matters (your 30 days) is fixed regardless of how quickly you respond emotionally, so there is no upside to rushing a decision in the first hour and real upside to reading carefully first.
<h2 id="read-the-summons-and-atros">Read the Summons and Understand the ATROs</h2>The Summons does two things. First, it tells you formally that a case has been filed and states your deadline to respond. Second, its back page lists the Standard Family Law Restraining Orders, commonly called ATROs (Automatic Temporary Restraining Orders).
This is the part people most often misunderstand: the ATROs are not something your spouse is imposing on you. They took effect on your spouse automatically the moment they filed the Petition, and they take effect on you automatically the moment you are served. From that point, while the case is pending, and unless you both agree in writing or a court orders otherwise, neither of you can:
- Remove minor children of the marriage from California without the other spouse's consent or a court order
- Cash, borrow against, cancel, transfer, or change the beneficiary of any insurance policy, including life, health, auto, or disability coverage, without the other spouse's consent or a court order
- Transfer, encumber, or dispose of property, community or separate, outside the ordinary course of business, without the other spouse's written consent or a court order
- Change beneficiaries on retirement or insurance accounts in a way that affects the other spouse's rights, without their written consent or a court order
Ordinary bills and everyday spending are still fine. What the ATROs stop is major, one sided moves while the case is open. For the full breakdown of the Summons form itself, see How to Fill Out Form FL-110.
The Petition, Form FL-100, is where your spouse states the actual substance of the case: whether they are requesting dissolution, legal separation, or nullity; what they believe the date of separation is; and, critically, what they are asking the court to order on property, support, and custody.
Read this section by section, not just skim it. Note anything you disagree with, whether it is the stated date of separation, a request about custody, or how property should be divided. You do not have to resolve any of it right now, but you need an accurate list before you can decide what to put in your own Response.
Keep the original documents you were served, along with the envelope or any note about how and when they were delivered. If a professional process server handed them to you, or a family member did, write down the date while it is still fresh. That date is what your entire deadline calculation depends on, and it is worth confirming against the Proof of Service your spouse eventually files with the court.
<h2 id="calendar-the-30-days">Calendar Your 30 Day Deadline</h2>Once you know what you are dealing with, mark your deadline immediately. You generally have 30 calendar days from the date you were served (not the date printed on the Petition, and not the date your spouse filed) to file a Response.
A few specifics worth confirming right away:
- Weekends and holidays count. This is not 30 business days.
- The date of service is on your proof of service paperwork, which the person who served you (or a process server) should be able to confirm.
- Missing this deadline has real consequences. Our companion guide, What Happens If You Don't Respond to Divorce Papers in California, covers exactly what a default looks like and what it can decide.
With your deadline calendared and the Petition read, you have real choices, not just one path forward.
File a Response (Form FL-120). This is the option that protects your position no matter what happens next. Filing a Response does not mean you are picking a fight; it means the facts and requests on the court record include your side, not just your spouse's. If you have minor children together, you will generally also file FL-105, the UCCJEA declaration. Virdix walks you through your Response at /respond, question by question, and prepares the paperwork for you.
Negotiate toward an agreement. Filing a Response and negotiating are not mutually exclusive. Many respondents file a straightforward Response to protect their deadline, then continue working with their spouse (directly, through mediation, or through counsel) on a full settlement. An early Response does not commit you to a contested case.
Let the case proceed without a Response, on purpose. This is narrower than it sounds. It generally only makes sense if you and your spouse already agree on every term and plan to submit a signed agreement together, or if you are exploring the new Joint Petition process (Form FL-700) available since January 1, 2026 for couples who agree from the start. Doing nothing simply because you disagree with the Petition, or are avoiding the paperwork, is a different situation, and it tends to work against you. See What Happens If You Don't Respond to Divorce Papers in California for what a true default can decide.
If there has been domestic violence, or you are afraid of your spouse, get safety support first. Call 911 in an emergency, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. You can seek a domestic violence restraining order whether or not the divorce case is pending.
The table below lines up these three paths side by side.
| Option | What It Protects | What It Does Not Do |
|---|---|---|
| File a Response (FL-120) | Your requests are on the record regardless of what happens next | Does not by itself end negotiation or settle the case |
| Negotiate while your Response is on file | Keeps talks open without risking your deadline | Does not replace filing; still needs a signed agreement to become final |
| Let the case proceed without a Response | Only appropriate with full agreement or a Joint Petition | Leaves you with no recourse if your spouse's position changes and no agreement exists |
Being served does not automatically mean you need to hire an attorney, and a lot of respondents, especially in straightforward or cooperative cases, complete and file their own Response. But there are situations where getting at least a consultation is genuinely worth the cost:
- Significant or complicated property. A family business, real estate in more than one state, or assets that are hard to value.
- Retirement accounts and pensions. Dividing these correctly generally requires specific court orders (QDROs) beyond the basic paperwork.
- Contested custody. If you and your spouse disagree meaningfully about where children live or how time is split, or if there are safety concerns involving a child.
- Domestic violence, coercion, or intimidation. If you do not feel safe, or feel pressured to sign something you do not understand or agree with.
- You genuinely do not understand what is being requested. If reading the Petition leaves you confused about what your spouse is actually asking for, that confusion itself is a reason to get a professional opinion before your deadline arrives, not after.
For a fuller comparison of self-represented versus attorney-assisted divorce, see DIY Divorce vs Hiring a Lawyer in California. For everything outside those situations, a document preparation service can typically get your Response filed correctly and on time without attorney fees.
<h2 id="file-your-response">How to File Your Response</h2>Once you have decided to respond, the process itself is direct:
- Complete Form FL-120, stating whether you agree with the Petitioner's requests or want something different, and adding your own requests for custody, support, or property.
- File FL-105 as well, if you have minor children together.
- Pay the filing fee, generally $435 to $450 depending on the county, or file Form FW-001 to request a fee waiver if you qualify.
- File with the same Superior Court listed on the Summons, then have someone 18 or older who is not a party serve a copy on your spouse.
For a full section-by-section walkthrough of the form itself, see How to Fill Out Form FL-120. Or start your Response directly at /respond, where Virdix turns the form into plain-language questions and prepares your paperwork for filing.
Once your Response is filed and served, keep a copy for your own records. You remain bound by the ATROs discussed earlier for the life of the case, so hold off on any major, one sided financial or property moves until the case reaches judgment or you and your spouse agree in writing to something different. If your circumstances change while the case is pending, such as a job loss affecting support, or a safety concern that develops later, you can generally ask the court for temporary orders on Form FL-300 rather than waiting for final judgment.
I was just served with divorce papers in California. What should I do first?
Read the Summons (Form FL-110) to confirm your 30 day deadline, and read the Petition (Form FL-100) to see exactly what your spouse is asking for. Write your deadline on a calendar the same day. You do not have to decide everything immediately, but you do need to know your date and what is actually being requested.
What are the ATROs and do they apply to me too?
ATROs are Automatic Temporary Restraining Orders, printed on the back of the Summons. They restrain both spouses, not just you, from removing minor children from California, canceling or changing insurance coverage, transferring or borrowing against property outside the ordinary course of business, and changing beneficiaries, all without the other spouse's written consent or a court order. They took effect on your spouse the moment they filed, and on you the moment you were served.
How long do I have to respond after being served in California?
You generally have 30 calendar days from the date you were served, not the date the case was filed, to file a Response (Form FL-120). Weekends and holidays count toward the 30 days.
Do I have to respond even if I agree with the divorce?
Generally yes. Agreeing with the divorce itself does not remove the benefit of filing something. A Response lets you confirm the facts and state your own requests for custody, support, and property on the record, rather than leaving the case to proceed only on what your spouse requested.
Should I try to negotiate with my spouse instead of filing a formal Response?
You can do both. Filing your Response on time protects your legal position regardless of how settlement talks go. Many respondents file a straightforward Response and continue negotiating a full agreement afterward; the Response does not lock you into a contested case, it just keeps your deadline from becoming a problem while you talk.
Do I need a lawyer just because I was served with divorce papers?
Not automatically. Many respondents, especially in straightforward or cooperative cases, complete and file their own Response. Consider a consultation if your case involves significant assets, retirement accounts, a contested custody dispute, or any safety concerns.
How Virdix Helps After You've Been Served
The days right after being served are exactly when a clear next step matters most. Virdix built a dedicated path for respondents:
- A guided Response flow at /respond, built around your 30 day deadline
- Plain-language questions, so the FL-120 does not require decoding legal terminology
- Complete requests for relief, so your side of the case is actually on the record
- Fee waiver guidance, so cost is not what stands between you and filing on time
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Virdix is a document preparation service, not a law firm, and does not provide legal advice. For advice about your specific situation, consult a licensed California family law attorney.
Sources: California Courts Self-Help Center (selfhelp.courts.ca.gov), Judicial Council of California