Mediation lets divorcing spouses work out their own agreement with a neutral mediator, instead of having a judge decide after a hearing. Some of it is free through the courts; some of it is a private, paid service. Here is how it generally works, plus how California and Florida run their court mediation programs.
Key Takeaway: A mediator is neutral and does not decide your case; they help you and your spouse reach your own agreement. Many California and Florida counties offer free or reduced-cost court-connected mediation, mainly for custody and visitation disputes. Private mediators who handle broader financial issues set their own rates. Mediation can work with or without a lawyer present.
What Is Divorce Mediation and How Does It Work?
In mediation, a neutral third party (the mediator) meets with both spouses, listens to each side, and helps them work through their options to reach an agreement on the issues at hand. The mediator does not take sides, does not represent either spouse, and does not have the power to decide the outcome the way a judge does. If the spouses reach an agreement, it is typically written up and, in many cases, submitted to the court for a judge to review and approve.
Is Free or Low-Cost Mediation Available?
Often, yes, particularly for child custody and visitation disputes. Many county family courts in California and Florida operate their own mediation programs specifically for contested custody and visitation issues, at no cost or on an income-based sliding scale, since resolving custody disputes before a hearing is generally in the court's interest as well as the family's. Broader financial or property mediation, handled by a private mediator outside the court's custody program, is typically a paid service at the mediator's own rate.
Can You Go to Mediation Without a Lawyer?
Yes. Mediation does not require either spouse to have an attorney present, and many people attend on their own, especially for court-connected custody mediation. Going to mediation without an attorney is the norm, not the exception, for court-connected custody sessions. Some spouses choose to have an attorney review a mediated agreement before signing it, even without the attorney attending the session, particularly when the agreement covers significant property or complex support terms.
Do You Have to Use Mediation, or Can You Skip It?
It depends on your state, county, and the specific issue. Mediation is not a universal requirement to get divorced, and plenty of people finish a divorce without mediation entirely, particularly when custody is not contested or there are no children involved. Some courts, including many California counties, require mediation specifically before a judge will hold a contested hearing on custody or visitation. Financial and property issues, and cases where custody is not contested, generally do not carry the same mediation requirement.
How Much Do Mediators Typically Cost?
Private mediator rates are not set by a published statewide fee schedule; they vary by mediator, location, and the complexity of the issues involved. Because rates change and vary this much, confirm current pricing directly with a mediator or mediation service before assuming a cost. Where court-connected custody mediation is available, it is generally free or offered on a sliding scale tied to income, separate from private mediator rates. Cheap mediators exist in most areas, but rate alone does not tell you whether a mediator is a good fit for your issues; ask about their specific family law mediation experience alongside their hourly rate.
California: Mandatory Custody Mediation
California law requires mediation before a contested custody or visitation issue goes in front of a judge. Under Family Code Section 3170, if it appears on the face of a petition or other filing that custody or visitation is contested, the court must set the contested issues for mediation.
According to the California Courts Self-Help Guide, this mediation is provided through each county's Family Court Services, focuses only on legal and physical custody and visitation (not child support or spousal support, which are addressed separately with the judge), and generally happens before or on the same day as the court date. Parents attend an orientation first if they have not been through the program before.
This applies statewide, including in Orange County, where residents searching for costa mesa divorce mediation or divorce mediation newport beach are served by the Orange County Superior Court's Family Court Services for any contested custody matter, alongside any private mediators located in those cities. Confirm current program details with your county's Family Court Services.
Florida: Court-Ordered Mediation
Florida also uses mediation extensively in family law cases. The Florida Courts' Alternative Dispute Resolution program describes mediation as a process available for family law matters, aimed at helping parties reach their own resolution with the help of a certified mediator rather than proceeding directly to a contested hearing.
As in California, whether mediation is required in a specific Florida case depends on whether the issues are contested and on the local circuit's rules; confirm your specific circuit's mediation requirement and any fee schedule with your circuit's family court or self-help center.
How Virdix Helps
Mediation helps you and your spouse reach an agreement; Virdix then prepares the California and Florida court forms that turn that agreement into a filed marital settlement agreement and judgment, from your answers to a guided questionnaire. The current launch price is $79 through October 31, 2026. Virdix does not provide mediation services or represent you in a mediation session.
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This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Virdix is a document preparation service, not a law firm, and does not provide legal advice. Mediation requirements and costs vary by state, county, and mediator; confirm current details with your court or a private mediator. For advice about your specific situation, consult a licensed attorney in your state.
Sources: California Family Code Section 3170 (leginfo.legislature.ca.gov), California Courts Self-Help Guide (selfhelp.courts.ca.gov), Florida Courts Alternative Dispute Resolution (flcourts.gov)