Getting a divorce means filing a petition with the court, formally notifying your spouse, sharing financial information, working out property, support, and custody, and then submitting final paperwork for a judge to sign. Every state follows some version of this process, called dissolution of marriage in most state statutes, though the exact forms, fees, and waiting periods differ. This guide walks through how a divorce works in general, then breaks out what changes in California and Florida specifically, plus what to expect if you live somewhere else.
Key Takeaway: Every divorce, in every state, follows the same basic shape: file, serve, disclose, decide, finalize. What varies by state is the residency requirement, the waiting period, the filing fee, and the exact forms. A fee waiver is available in every state if you cannot afford the filing fee, and your spouse's refusal to sign or respond does not stop the case, it just changes how it finishes.
How a Divorce Works, Step by Step
However you phrase the question, how do you go about getting a divorce, how do I initiate a divorce, how to get the divorce process started, the answer follows the same four stages in nearly every state.
First, one spouse files a petition (a complaint, in a few states) with a summons, opening the case. Second, both spouses share financial information through a formal disclosure process, so property and debt get divided on real numbers, not guesswork. Third, the spouses agree on property, debts, custody, and support, or ask the court to decide through a hearing or trial. Fourth, one spouse submits a proposed judgment of divorce (a judgment of dissolution) for a judge to sign, which legally ends the marriage.
Different states use different labels for the underlying paperwork, and a completed case is sometimes described as a marital dissolution or a consensual divorce when both spouses agreed on the terms, but the documents involved (the petition, the summons, financial disclosures, and the final judgment) are the divorce docs that make up every case, regardless of what state you file in.
How to Start a Divorce: Filing and Serving the Papers
To start a divorce, you file a petition and a summons with the court in the county where you or your spouse live, then pay the filing fee or file a fee waiver request. The clerk stamps your documents and opens a case number.
After filing, your spouse has to be formally told the case exists, a step called service of process. A process server, sheriff, or another adult over 18 who is not part of the case delivers copies of the summons and petition, then signs a proof of service or acknowledgment of service that goes back to the court. If your spouse is cooperative, they can instead sign a waiver of service, which skips the cost of a process server but still puts them on formal notice of the case.
Some document-preparation services use an intake questionnaire (a divorce intake sheet or family law intake form) to gather your information before generating your petition and summons. That step is not a separate legal filing. It is how your answers turn into the actual court forms you file.
Getting a Divorce With No Money: Fee Waivers
A divorce filing fee typically runs $150 to $450 depending on the state and county, before any cost to serve your spouse. If you genuinely cannot afford it, every state court system has a built-in fee waiver process.
You file a fee waiver application, disclosing your household income and size, alongside your petition. The clerk or a judge reviews it against the state's income guidelines and either waives the fee entirely, defers it, or denies the request if your income is too high. A waiver can also cover service costs and other court fees, though generally not an attorney's fees. No lawyer is required to apply.
If Your Spouse Will Not Sign or Respond
A divorce does not require your spouse's signature or agreement. Once you have properly served the petition and summons, your spouse has a set number of days, which varies by state, to file a response. If that deadline passes with no response, you can generally ask the court to enter a default and move the case toward judgment without their participation, as long as service was done correctly.
If your spouse has been abusive, controlling about the paperwork, or you feel unsafe discussing the divorce with them directly, your safety comes first. In an emergency, call 911. You can also reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, any time, for help planning a safe next step before you file or serve papers.
Filing for Divorce Online
Most courts now accept e-filing, so you can submit your petition, summons, and later documents through an online portal instead of walking them into the clerk's office. That is different from a claim that you can get "divorced online" without a court: no state lets a marriage dissolve entirely outside the court system, and a judge still has to review and sign your final judgment.
Document-preparation software like Virdix fills in the official, state-specific court forms from your answers, so the paperwork is prepared digitally. Whether you can then e-file it, or still need to file printed forms, depends on the rules of your county. A self-help center's phone line (often what people mean by a divorce help line) can confirm the local e-filing rules.
Contested vs. Uncontested: How the Process Differs
An uncontested, or agreeable, divorce means both spouses agree on every issue: property, debt, support, and custody. That case moves through the court mostly on paperwork, often without a hearing.
A contested divorce means at least one issue is unresolved. Your spouse can contest a divorce by filing a formal response, which can trigger discovery, settlement conferences, and sometimes a trial before a judge decides. Filing a response is not an accusation, it simply preserves your spouse's right to be heard. Our companion guide, uncontested vs. contested divorce, breaks that distinction down further.
Divorcing a Spouse Who Lives in a Different State
You do not both have to live in the same state to get divorced. You generally file wherever you personally meet the residency requirement, even if your spouse lives, or is incarcerated, in a different state. What changes is service: you have to notify your spouse under the rules of the state where they actually are, which can mean a local process server or a certified-mail method that state allows.
If you have children together, custody and support can raise a separate jurisdiction question under the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act, since the state handling custody is not always the same one handling the divorce. Confirm the residency and service rules for your specific state combination before filing, since a mistake on service can delay your case.
Custody and Dividing Retirement Accounts (QDRO)
If you have minor children, your divorce case addresses legal and physical custody, a parenting time schedule, and child support, generally decided by the same "best interest of the child" standard used across most states.
Retirement accounts earned during the marriage, such as a 401(k) or a pension, are typically divided as part of the property settlement, but dividing them usually takes a second, separate order called a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO), filed in addition to your divorce judgment, not instead of it. Filing one without an attorney is possible in many cases, though some plan administrators require a specific format and charge their own review fee.
How to Get a Divorce in California
In California, one spouse must have lived in the state for six months, and in the county where the case is filed for three months, before filing (Family Code Section 2320). The process itself takes a minimum of six months from the date your spouse is served, even in a fully agreed case, because California requires that waiting period before a judgment can be entered.
You start by filing Form FL-100 (Petition) and Form FL-110 (Summons), then serving your spouse, who has 30 days to file a Response, Form FL-120. The statewide filing fee is $435, though Form FW-001 can waive it if you qualify. If your spouse does not respond within 30 days, you can generally request a default using Form FL-165 and Form FL-170. California's self-help center outlines all four parts of the process in more detail.
Our guides to California divorce forms, the California divorce hub, and uncontested divorce in California walk through the full form list and timeline county by county, including cases filed at courthouses in cities like Pomona, Whittier, and El Cajon, which follow the same statewide rules as every other California courthouse.
How to Get a Divorce in Florida
In Florida, one spouse must have lived in the state for at least six months before the petition is filed (Fla. Stat. § 61.021), and a final judgment cannot be entered until at least 20 days have passed since the original petition was filed (Fla. Stat. § 61.19).
If you and your spouse agree on everything, have no minor or dependent children, and have already divided your property, you can file a Joint Petition for Simplified Dissolution of Marriage, Form 12.901(a), together. Otherwise, one spouse files a regular petition first, and the other has an opportunity to respond. The statewide base filing fee is $295 (Fla. Stat. § 28.241), though most clerks collect somewhat more with add-on charges, commonly closer to $400. If you cannot afford it, an Application for Determination of Civil Indigent Status lets the clerk waive it.
Our guides to Florida divorce forms and the Florida divorce hub cover the full form list, including filings handled at county clerks' offices from Brooksville to Fort Myers, all of which use the same statewide forms and fee structure.
Getting a Divorce in Any Other State
Every other state follows the same file, serve, disclose, decide, finalize structure above, but two things always vary: the residency requirement (how long you or your spouse must have lived there before filing) and the waiting period (how long the court has to wait before it can enter a final judgment). Confirm your specific state's rules, fee, and forms with that state's court self-help website or county clerk before filing. Our divorce by state directory is a starting point.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I start the divorce process?
One spouse files a petition (sometimes called a complaint) with the family court, along with a summons, then formally notifies the other spouse through service of process or a signed waiver. That filing opens the case. From there both spouses exchange financial information, work out property, support, and custody, and submit final paperwork for a judge to sign. Every state uses some version of this sequence, though the specific forms and deadlines differ.
How can I get a divorce if I have no money?
Every state court system has a fee waiver process for people who cannot afford the filing fee. You file an application showing your income and household size along with your petition, and the clerk or a judge decides whether to waive the fee entirely or let you pay it later. California uses Form FW-001. Florida uses an Application for Determination of Civil Indigent Status. Both are free to file and do not require a lawyer.
What happens if my spouse will not sign the divorce papers?
Your spouse does not have to sign anything for a divorce to move forward. Once you have served the petition and summons, your spouse has a set window of time to file a response. If that window passes with no response, you can generally ask the court to enter a default and finalize the divorce without your spouse's participation, as long as you followed the service rules correctly.
Can I get a divorce completely online?
You can complete most of the paperwork online, and many courts accept e-filing for the petition itself, but no state lets you finish a divorce entirely outside the court system. A judge still has to review and sign the final judgment. Document-preparation software like Virdix fills in the official court forms from your answers so you can file and, where the court allows it, e-file them, but the case still runs through the same court every other divorce in that state runs through.
How do I file for divorce if my spouse lives in a different state?
You generally file in the state where you meet that state's residency requirement, even if your spouse lives elsewhere. You then have to serve your spouse under the rules of the state where they live, which can mean hiring a process server or using certified mail in that other state. Custody and support can raise separate jurisdiction questions if children are involved, so confirm the residency and service rules for your specific state before filing.
What is a QDRO and do I need one for my divorce?
A Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) is a separate court order that tells a retirement plan administrator how to divide a 401(k), pension, or similar account between spouses after divorce. You only need one if your case involves dividing an employer-sponsored retirement account. It is filed in addition to, not instead of, your divorce judgment, and many plan administrators charge a review fee on top of any court filing cost.
How is a contested divorce different from an uncontested one?
In an uncontested divorce, both spouses agree on every issue: property, debt, support, and custody if there are children. The case moves through the court mostly on paperwork. In a contested divorce, at least one issue is unresolved, which can mean hearings, formal discovery, and sometimes a trial before a judge decides. Our companion guide, uncontested vs. contested divorce, breaks down that difference in more detail.
How Virdix Helps
Virdix asks you plain-language questions about your marriage, your finances, and your family, then fills in the official court forms for your state from your answers, flags contradictions before you file, and keeps every form consistent with the others in your case. It is currently built for California and Florida, priced at $79 through October 31, 2026.
Virdix does not replace an attorney for a contested case, a dispute over custody or support, or any situation involving your safety. For a straightforward, agreed divorce, it helps make sure your paperwork is complete and consistent from the first form to the last.
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Virdix is a document preparation service, not a law firm, and does not provide legal advice. For advice about your specific situation, consult a licensed family law attorney in your state.
Sources: California Courts Self-Help Center (selfhelp.courts.ca.gov), California Family Code Section 2320 (leginfo.legislature.ca.gov), Florida Statutes Sections 61.021, 61.19, 28.241, and 57.082 (flsenate.gov), Florida Family Law Rules of Procedure Form 12.901(a) (flcourts.gov)